Hey everyone I want to share with you a glimpse in to my life last week.
Whilst I was painting this Leopard Tutorial last week, did I make it look easy? Did it feel like I was full of confidence? And I knew exactly what I was doing?
Well I can tell you that actually I wasn’t at all, I wasn’t feeling any of these things.
Mostly when I’m doing tutorials I tell you exactly how I’m feeling how I think things are going, if I think something looks terrible or if I think it needs re doing, but I didn’t on this occasion.
Because unfortunately some months I don’t really feel on top of the world, I feel useless and everything I do is rubbish. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
Luckily I don’t feel like this every single month (I’m lucky) but on occasion maybe three to five months of the year I do feel like this and I feel like everything I do is rubbish and I am rubbish and I am worthless and I should pack it all in and get another job.
I actually thought that this leopard was completely and utterly awful and I had no business being a tutor and teaching you, I was comparing myself to everyone which I know I should not do and my thoughts were that I was falling way short of being anywhere near professional.
Does this shock you?
But I’ve come to recognise the symptoms and realise that actually those feelings are not real, it’s just that time of the month / year and time to take some Vitamin B6 (my doctor recommended and he was right!) . So fortunately I have enough experience to realise that my feelings were wrong and enough courage to plough on through the tutorial and believe in the process.
So telling you these things during the tutorial would not have been helpful and you might have thought I was going crazy!!
But I think that telling you these things now is really helpful and may even help you recognise that you have feelings like this too from time to time. Whether it be the time of the month or whether you just feel a bit crappy, if you’re female or male, we can all feel worthless and useless and want to give up. But if we can recognise it’s just a feeling (or hormones) and that feeling will pass and we will feel better very soon, it’s very much easier to deal with the feelings more effectively.
Hang in there and keep the faith in you.
This week I feel much better and much brighter and I look at my leopard and think, actually it’s not so bad at all, I say that with shock in my voice as I am genuinely surprised 🤣
P. S. I can tell you a lot of chocolate and sweets were consumed last week not whilst filming the tutorial though 😅